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As eager as I was to make romantic connections, I couldn't have predicted that that same over-enthusiasm would end up biting me in the butt, .Because I was so keen to find love, my expectations of online dating were way too high, and I found myself on an endless roller coaster of emotional highs and lows — because every rejection, bad date, or failed relationship felt extremely personal.But that doesn’t mean smartphone dating isn’t for you.We ranked the best apps that are friendly to people of slightly older age groups—paying special attention to the ones where you’ll have the most potential matches to choose from.Being ghosted on an app doesn’t mean you did something wrong.Expect that you will ghost as well as be ghosted.”There's no need to freak out and flush your phone down a toilet if a potential match doesn't pan out like you'd hoped.First, it requires a ton of patience: finding a real, lasting relationship online means enduring many, many or downright bad dates. Being able to recognize if your expectations of online dating are unhealthy, and then learning to re-frame those expectations in a healthier way.“[Your expectations might be unhealthy] if your life revolves around your apps and it’s your only means of meeting new people, [or] if you’ve never swiped right on anyone or come across someone you’ve found interesting,” Golden says.
It doesn't matter if you're looking for love or just want someone to keep you company between the sheets: if you're aware of what you want, and go after it unapologetically, you won't fall into the trap of feeling defeated by your dating apps.“One question dictates the [expectation-setting] process,” Golden says.
Getting out of your home and having a stimulating conversation is still a positive experience that is exciting and fun too.”When I was a dating app newbie, I was definitely not "enjoying the journey" to find love: instead, I was putting way too much emotional energy into every potential date, which left me feeling drained and pessimistic. First thing's first: I'm by no means knocking dating apps as a whole, especially because they eventually allowed me to swipe right on my current partner.
Dating apps are a wonderful tool to meet people you might otherwise never come across, but it's crucial to remember that they're just that: a tool to meet people, not a method of magicking your ideal partner out of thin air.
“Dating apps are made up of all types of people from academics to athletes, [so] there’s someone out there who warrants a meet.”As a young woman who desperately craved companionship, it was really difficult for me to take a step back and be a long-term partner for me, if only I tried hard enough to make it work — but that couldn't have been further from the truth.
In reality, not every person you match with will even turn into a conversation or IRL date... “A healthy expectation is that for every 20 matches, half will probably end up having an exchange,” Golden says.